noisemonkey.com

I like reading obscure history. It’s useful. I’ll be able to avoid the herds of...

Mar 31st

Culinary tip… never season your Supernoodles with kryptonite.

Mar 30th

It’s dangerous to have a shared bike/bus lane. I guess they just like to alphabetise. I worry...

Mar 29th

The British Museum is so old, it belongs in a museum.

Mar 28th

As a vegetarian, I never consume dead animals. Which is why I never drink petrol.

Mar 27th

It’s said that ‘elbow’ is the most sensuous english word, due to the way it feels...

Mar 25th

FYI… when people say ‘t-shirt weather’, what they mean is ‘t-shirt &...

Mar 24th

Guitars make great accessories. Carrying a guitar makes me 20% cooler. Unfortunately, I’m made...

Mar 22nd

I get worried when I read the paper. It’s a scary world out there. Which is why when I have...

Mar 21st

History tells us that most castles suffer from a design flaw. Though almost impenetrable, enemies...

Mar 20th

Scaffolding is always ugly. It makes a building look like it’s wearing braces. No-one wants to...

Mar 19th

I hate waiters that try to impress by memorizing the table’s order. Sure, neat trick. But...

Mar 18th

Quick & easy cake recipe. Ingredients: 1 x cake. Method: (1) It’s a cake.

Mar 16th

Some advice… when finalising a piece of work, take the time to dot the i’s and cross the...

Mar 15th

Whatever film is showing, I have to wear 3D glasses whenever I go to the cinema. Because as far as...

Mar 13th

Netbooks, A5 paper, fonts under size 8 - all things I surround myself with when I want to feel like...

Mar 10th

Morning has well & truly broken, and I can’t fix it. No matter how much superglue and...

Mar 10th

Holding Tube doors open won’t always delay your journey. E.g. if every passenger does it &...

Mar 8th

This warmer weather is great. I’ve hated having to dress in so many layers each winter morning...

Mar 7th

It’s been ages since I’ve picked up my guitar. Unfortunately, I’ve forgotten a...

Mar 6th