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Home | Archive | Previous Issue | Next Issue | Issue 03 |
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ISSUE 03 |
| Limp Bizkit Find Replacement for Departed Guitarist | | Travis Release Strong Set of Results | | NME To Close Down | | GigMonkey | | |||
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Limp Bizkit Find Replacement for Departed GuitaristBrit fan Darius to join groupThe worldwide search for a replacement for ex-Limp Bizkit member Wes Borland ended this week. Borland split from the hit teenybopper rap-rock group last year to pursue an acting career in gritty hard-hitting teen soap Hollyoaks, leaving frontman Fred Durst reportedly feeling "kinda sad". Borland's replacement will be 21-year-old Brit Darius "Darius" Danesh. Darius is currently studying for a degree in Pop Manufacturing at Edinburgh University and won his place in the band after winning the hearts of both the Bizkit judges and the general public. "Darius was a mightily popular choice for the Bizkit. We had more than 30,000 guys call in to vote for him. That's literally millions of people," said Durst, "We weren't even doing a phone-in vote neither." The search kicked off very publicly with a series of full-page adverts appearing in the Guardian, Independent, and Financial Times. Hopefuls were told that as well as playing live with the band and having the opportunity to contribute material, they would also be expected to become Durst's bestest friend in the whole wide world and to "hug him and squeeze him and call him George." Subsequent open auditions held around the world, resulted in long queues of nearly a dozen fans turning up at each one. The auditions were designed not just to test the hopefuls’ guitar skills, but also their personality, posture, poise and dance choreography. "It will be great to be part of Limp Bizkit,” said Darius, "I've loved angsty whiney raprock from the moment I was old enough to complain about how unfair life in general is, and I've wanted to be part of the Bizkit for so long." He then vowed, "I will have a successful collaboration with Papa Roach by the time I'm thirty-five." Darius is to join the group with immediate effect and has some guitar lessons booked for later this year. The band are said to be "kinda happy." "Its a shame he's shaved off that ridiculous looking beard and ditched the horrible slimy looking pony tail, but I'm sure Darius will still somehow manage to fit right in with the visual style of the Bizkit. He says that his parents have got some of his old clothes from when he was twelve, so that's a start," said Durst, "Darius will bring a lot of love to the Bizkit." |
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Travis Release Strong Set of Results"Good feeling" for shareholdersThe Scotland-based entertainment industry giant Travis reported another strong set of annual results in a Rock Exchange announcement yesterday. This is the third year that the company has seen growth in both turnover and overall sing-ability, despite increased indie market competition. The company have been seemingly unaffected by the same economic conditions that lead to the surprise collapse of market stalwart Catatonia in the third quarter, which saw its employees unexpectedly laid off and many of its shareholders left holding worthless CDs. No sign also, of the sweeping reforms that faced smaller rival The Divine Comedy, with all but Chief Executive Neil Hannon losing their jobs last November. An expected loss of market share to industry newcomers Starsailor and Coldplay failed to materialise, with Travis customers staying loyal to the brand. Chief Executive of Travis, Fran Healey, issued the following statement: "2001 was a highly successful year for Travis, reflecting the company's hard work and dedication to our customers over the last twelve months. However we will not rest on our laurels as 2002 brings with it fresh and exciting challenges. Its very important we remember that the overall profit and increased share value we bring won't mean a thing unless we sing, sing, sing." Travis shares closed at 1299p yesterday. |
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NME To Close DownAll further music made redundant by the StrokesIt was announced this week that weekly papery thing with words printed on it, New Musical Express, is to end later this year. The paper has championed NME tours for nearly 50 years. American boy band The Strokes are being held to blame, and in particular their highly popular album "Is This It?". The newspaper's closure has been anticipated for some time, ever since NME gave the album full marks and awarded it the accolade of Greatest Album of the All Time Forever and Ever Amen. Hailed as the pinnacle of musical achievement, there has been widespread acknowledgement that there is no possibility of anything better ever being produced by the music industry and that it might as well just give up now. In recent months, music shops up and down the country have been increasingly refusing to stock non-Strokes merchandise, as consumer demand for anything not written by the New York five-piece dwindles. With nothing to aspire to any more, many groups have given up on writing new songs, with many dedicating their spare time to different pursuits such as a game of volleyball with friends perhaps, or maybe completing a particularly tricky jigsaw puzzle. "We've been trying to put a brave face on it, but the fact remains that we've got no reason to carry on looking for good music," said the editor of NME, Jimmy Cardboard, ""Is This It?" was a landmark album, but in this case a landmark that marked the end of land. Perhaps like a cliff-top. Or the end of a seaside promenade. We have to come to terms with the fact that from now on all new music will just appear dull, shallow, and totally unnecessary." DJ Otzi was unavailable for comment. |
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GigMonkeyWednesday 6thDavid Gray: Flat 13b, Riverside Apartments, LondonThough not officially touring at the present, Gray just can't resist giving impromptu performances to his fans round at his swanky London flat. Admittedly he might try to stop you at first, but be politely persistent (or failing that - violent) and he's sure to give in. Once inside his spacious London flat you're sure to enjoy one of the most up-close-and-personal performances of the year, especially when the Stockholm Syndrome starts to develop later in the evening. Though lacking in support acts, the venue is pleasantly small and intimate with both seated and standing room on offer. Gray is likely to once again prove himself to be an energetic performer - bouncing his head to the rhythm, swinging his guitar from side to side, and occasionally trying to make a run for the door. |
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