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Home | Archive | Previous Issue | Next Issue | Issue 06 |
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ISSUE 06 |
| The White Stripes Attempt World Record | | Cliff Richard To Release Christmas Single | | Travis Plc Launch Take over Bid For Smaller Rival | | Where Are They Now? | | |||
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The White Stripes Attempt World RecordNext release will be World's Shortest Ever SongDetroit's The White Stripes look set to find themselves in the Guinness Book of World Records in April when they release what will be the world's shortest ever single. The band currently already holds the world record for least varied wardrobe colour scheme. Track 'Dirty Like A Trashcan' is just six seconds long, a full ten seconds shorter the current holder of the world record - '**** You' (radio version) by Eminem, which itself is a full three minutes shorter than its unedited album version. 'Dirty Like A Trashcan' is taken from the 'White Blood Cells' LP, which consists of nearly a hundred fast-paced blues-rock riffs tracks spread over half an hour. The single version will be backed up by 3 second 'b'-side 'F-Sharp' (which consists of a single chord strummed on an old wooden banjo) and the CD-ROM video for '...Like A Trashcan' which features a brick falling from the top of a bungalow in real-time. "I'm very excited about the record attempt!" said vocalist Jack White, "We've been practising really hard and I'm sure that we're going to do it, no probs. Once we get through that tricky middle eight we're home free." White then went on to add that although dedication's what you need if you want to be a record breaker, he and Meg also found taking lots of anabolic steroids to be extremely useful. He ended by saying that this was "amazing." 'Dirty Like A Trashcan' will be fired out of a big cannon on 15th April. |
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Brit Awards Results Round-UpFourth Round, First Leg: Dido ............2
K.Minogue ...2
Division Two: Westlife ...........1
B.Jaxx .............1
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Cliff Richard To Release Christmas SingleMarch release date chosen "to beat the rush"Cliff Richard is to release his 2002 Christmas single next month in a strategic attempt to reach the much-coveted number one spot. This represents the loveable leather-faced singer's 85th attempt to recapture the success of earlier releases such as 'the Millennium Prayer (Y2K-compatible)', 'Mistletoe and Wine, Wine, Wine', and many, many more. Speaking exclusively to NoiseMonkey's sister magazine, SoundGibbon, Richard revealed that deliberately releasing a Christmas-themed single in March was a carefully laid plan to prevent the same mistakes that occurred in December 2001, when his cover version of 'Over The Rainbow' was beaten to the number one spot by Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman and their cover version of 'Somethin' Stupid'. "By releasing my single early, it gets a decent build-up on the way to Christmas Day," said Richard, "Plus there's less competition in the way of Christmas singles at this time of year so I'll beat the rush. As 2001 showed me, cover versions are the way forward, as are collaborations with Hollywood celebrities. By combining both of these factors with an early release date I'm certain I'm on to a winner this year. Plus I was getting a bit bored of sitting on my backside waiting for December to come round every year so that I could actually release something." 'A Wombling Merry Christmas' (featuring Dame Judi Dench) is released on 11th March on Leather-Faced Records. |
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Travis Plc Launch Take-over Bid For Smaller RivalNegotiations with directors of Rialto Ltd announcedIt was announced yesterday on the stock exchange that indie-market leader Travis Plc has been in secret 'take-over' negotiations with one of its smaller competitors - Rialto Ltd. Although both companies stressed that relations between the two have been extremely non-hostile, the discussions look likely to result in a very one-sided merger, with Rialto closing down the majority of its operations and relocating a central core of staff to positions within the merged business. Only current chief executive of Rialto, Louis Eliot, would retain a place on the board, as director of the newly created PoshRock division. Nevertheless, the offer remains a strong option for Rialto, whose market position has steadily declined since the boom experienced around the release of 'Monday Morning 5:19' and 'Untouchable'. Although Rialto's forays into the Internet sector have provoked interest, shareholders have lacked faith in the company ever since financial difficulties forced it to lay-off half its drummers. Stock market analysts say that if the deal goes ahead it will place Travis even further ahead of the other two members of the MOR-indie market's 'Big Three' - Coldplay and Starsailor. Travis shares closed at £11.99 yesterday. Rialto shares closed at 99p. |
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GigMonkeyPulpLong Melford Garden Centre Tuesday 26th "The new album [Pulp Love Life] is all about getting back to nature, really, " frontman Jarvis Cocker recently told NoiseMonkey, "Y'know, baby-gro, bags of fertiliser, packets of seeds, cheeky garden gnomes and bird tables - they were our central themes." Its certain to be a tree-mendous gig so why don't you go see them? |
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NoisesOffDear NoiseMonkey, Please please please can you fix it for me to be in Hear'Say? I'd be really good. I can dance quite well, sing a little, and all my friends say that I have some nice jumpers.
Kym, via email |
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Where Are They Now?This week: SpaceOne of the more successful scouse-rock groups to have worked with Cerys Matthews during the 90's, Space were last seen back in, ooh ages ago, when they released the utterly-memorable chart-topping 'Diary of a Wimp' that so ingrained itself on the public consciousness that no-one has been able to forget its existence ever since. Not even for a second. Since then Space have been notable by their absence, with the music scene effectively rudderless without their shining light to guide it. Speculation over the group's whereabouts has prompted much tabloid speculation that Space had simply decided to retire and live off the fat royalties from hit singles such as 'Neighbourhood' and 'Female of the Species'. However, after months of searching, NoiseMonkey photographer Hans Crinklecut has tracked down the loveable soap-dodging indie-pop rogues to Asia, and captured them on film. As can be seen from this photograph, Space are clearly visible from the Great Wall of China. |
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