Pop Idol To Be Tracked From Space

New Heat 'magazine' satellite launched into orbit

Pop Idol winner Will Young is to have his every move watched by satellite, announced gossip 'magazine' Heat this week. The technological break-through will allow Heat to know precisely where on the planet Young is, at any time of the day or night. The previous method of following him around everywhere he went has been widely recognised as cost ineffective.

Heat scientists have worked with NASA on the project to create an electronic tagging device that will be worn at all times by his supreme-holiness the almighty and all-powerful Pop Idol. This 'tag' will send a constant signal to a satellite orbiting the earth, which will in turn beam its response to Heat 'magazine' head offices. From there the data will be used to provide readers with up-to-date information on the singer's current whereabouts, as well as 5-day forecasts for his future movements.

This represents the latest in Global Pop Positioning Satellite (GPPS) technology. Although only one Heat satellite has been launched at present, this provides an adequate coverage of the northern hemisphere. Several other satellites are planned to be launched as soon as the next window arises, so that full coverage of Australia, New Zealand or Antarctica will be available.

"We're at the cutting edge of science here, doing things that for decades other gossip magazines have only dreamt of," chief Heat scientist Rory Milktop told the press conference, "Previously the technology required to beam the signal to the satellite was too bulky to consider using for most celebrities without it being highly noticeable. We tried hiding a prototype in Jay Kay's hat once, but he complained that it was giving him headaches."