Consumers Urged To Return CD Compilation

Album may contain traces of Paul Weller

Music publishers Choonful Chimp Records have issued a consumer warning relating to recent release 'The Best Bands In The Universe...Yes!' urging the public to return their copies immediately.

Despite claiming to contain the 'best bands' in the 'universe', a defected batch of approximately one thousand compact discs have been released containing a track by Paul Weller - who consumer watchdogs have discovered is a solo artist and not a band at all. If consumers return the CD to the manufacturers they offer to cut off the defected Weller bit of CD and stick on a replacement part featuring a track by Cast, free of charge.

A spokesman for Choonful Chimp Records was quick to play down the situation and blatantly plug his company's other releases:

"We obviously apologise for the error, but I'd like to be quick to play down the situation. This is simply a manufacturing glitch due to our new machinery," explained spokesman Billy Randomly-Observed-Object, "We never should have invested in eighties children's TV star Bertha. Okay, yes she's a lovely machine, and yes, everyone who works with her will know just what I mean but, well, she's a bit outdated now compared with the rest of the manufacturing industry. And a bit of an obscure reference too. I'm not entirely sure why I mentioned her. Umm, don't forget to buy our other popular compilation album - 'The Rest Of The Bands In The Universe'!"

However, industry watchdogs have been less than forgiving - condemning makers of CDs for endangering the public:

"This is just the latest in a long stream of potentially harmful releases," explained Kerry McIndustry-Watchdog, "There was that reggae compilation album that turned out to be nothing but Holly Valance songs. Oh, and those defective copies of 'Be Here Now' that consisted only of tracks off the previous two Oasis albums. What if a child were to get hold of this latest defective compilation? They'd grow up thinking that Paul Weller really was a whole band full of people, rather than just one person. Can you imagine the damage that could do to them later in life?"